well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
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i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
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