i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize