omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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