Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
