:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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