I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
