remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do vagina's smell?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
