I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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