Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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