I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
