Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
