kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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