She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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