Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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