dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
