The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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