i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
