i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
