is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
