I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
