I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
