a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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