Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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