That's when you crack a 10am beer
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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