There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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