she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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