so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
