I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
nutella sex= disaster
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
