he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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