everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
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I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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