What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
