Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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