She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
