Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
