He is an equal opportunity slut.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
