Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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