Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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