And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
too bad you live with your parents still
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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