White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
