Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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