The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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