whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
