Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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