I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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