ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
