Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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