he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
