so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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