So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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