just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
