Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Four minutes until I can fart!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There r osticjed everywhere
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize