hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
