i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
