scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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