All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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