I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
