I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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