im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
