His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
