If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
