i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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