Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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