We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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