Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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