There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
this will be a night to untag.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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