We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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