I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
