Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
