He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
